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So sexual-massage, yeah? It’s like a massage, but spicy, innit. Them hands ain’t just kneadin’ ya back - they’re goin’ *places*, fam. Little-known fact - back in ancient times, them Chinese emperors was gettin’ these rubs to “balance their chi” or summat. Probs just an excuse to get freaky, haha! Makes me laff thinkin’ about some posh git in a robe tryna play it cool while he’s all oiled up.

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Finally, I get to my buddy. He’s standing there looking all helpless. I can’t help but laugh. “Dude, you look like a lost puppy!” He rolls his eyes. We wait for the tow truck, and I’m just thinking about how crazy this day has been.

Recycling changes: 'It takes a while for the public to catch on'